“A sense of worthiness is a child’s most important need.”
Polly Berends
I have a new friend now. Eleven-year-old Savannah
is a bundle of energetic joy – an adorable, thoughtful moppet with a beaming
smile and a personality that captured my heart. Her mom is a friend of mine and
brought her over to brighten my day.
Savannah and I spent hours talking about her life
in school. She’s very honest about her feelings and shortcomings, but also
determined to get her education, even though she struggles a lot.
Sadly, this darling little girl is one of 17% of
children bullied in school. What makes things worse – in order to protect
herself, Savannah admittedly “bullies” back. Since death and disability are
abstract to most children, they don’t understand that fighting can lead to
tragedy. And with so many parents, single and married, working one or more jobs
simply to put food on the table, many of these children don’t get the
investment they desperately need.
I discussed ways with Savannah how to handle a
bully without it leading to a fist fight. In one particular incident, Savannah
needed a paper to finish an assignment and a girl, (we'll call her Sam),who
bullies her took it away.
Savannah got upset and apparently said something
to Sam that caught the attention of the teacher, but only after Sam pushed Savannah. And Savannah wanted to react. At any rate, the teacher told the Sam
to apologize. She didn’t.
Savannah and Sam have had several altercations.
Since Savannah admitted that she sometimes provokes the girl, I suggested that
she apologize to her and forgive her. I explained to her that perhaps Sam
needed some kindness. Maybe, her homelife wasn't all that great, so she seeks
attention by "bullying". Who knows? One day they could become best
friends, once they truly understand each other. And as I told Savannah, someone
has to try to take the first step.
Savannah looked at me with her big blue eyes and
said, “I don’t really like that,” with a curl of a smile, but she said she'd
try. Then, we moved on to cooking.
Savannah loves to cook, but does not know how. I
am a cook-from-scratch culinary artiste. That day I made an original chicken
pasta dish with fire roasted tomatoes. I showed her how to sauté and stir the
food in the pot and spoke to her about kitchen safety.
She gobbled her meal up quickly and then smiled
widely. “This is delicious. Can I have the recipe? I want to cook it for my
family.” So, now when I see her this Thursday, I’m looking forward to an update
of her school week and if she had been able to prepare the recipe.
My heart melted when Savannah asked me if she
could come back to see me. We have been exchanging emails because I’m going to
burn a CD for her containing all her favorite songs. I’m choosing only the
songs with positive messages from the list she gave me. I’m thankful to be
given a chance to help make a difference in a child’s life.
(Her mom gave me carte blanche to speak with her
about any subject, including what I have gone through. However, I make sure to
let her mother know what we talk about, as she leaves us alone to speak).
My friend thanked me for caring about her
daughter. I thanked her for allowing me the privilege.
“Give children
a conscious understanding of how powerful
and important and valuable and perfect they are.” Abraham Hicks
and important and valuable and perfect they are.” Abraham Hicks
