Monday, March 30, 2015

Post #9 - Way Too Many Hospital Stays


I'm so bummed. I have to go back into the hospital again because I need antibiotic infusions to kill these infections. If it hadn't been for the heartless negligence of one nurse I would have been done with the infusions, but she let my IV go bad because she cut off the fluids that kept my vein open.

(I have spent the better part of four and one-half years in hospitals since 2009 and have no desire to go back).

I reported her today. In order for a phlebotomist to find a vein, they need to use an ultrasound machine. And, the only place on my body that they can use is my left arm. Veins collapse in my right arm as soon as a needle touches them, and both my legs have blood clots.

It too two techs to the first time, and they could only find one available vein deep inside my left arm.

Had that nurse kept that vein open or at least made sure an ultrasound IV team came right away, I could have finished the IV antibiotic that worked. Instead, I was sent home on Cipro, which doesn't work at all with these drug-resistant infections I have.

I want to cry. I see my infectious disease doc on Thursday, He is so pissed off at the staff in the hospital for putting me through this again. Most likely I will be re-admitted Friday or Saturday unless my doc can come up wit some kind of solution.

(Unfortunately due to the expense and the danger, I cannot get IV infusions at home). Please pray. I'm so sad.

My only hope is that
 "This too shall pass . . . " ;
 but not quick enough.


Friday, March 20, 2015

Post # 8 - As March 25th Approaches, My Heart Crumbles

        
Me, Kathy, a cousin, brothers Bobby and Billy

      March 25 is my younger sister Kathy’s birthday. I scrolled through various personal gift websites. I love sending her sentimental gifts.

         I was nine years old the day Mom brought Kathy home. She looked just like my Thumbelina doll, wiggling in my mother’s arms. I loved helping Mom dress her. Mom even let me help bathe her in the kitchen sink.

         We were a family of six, living in a four-bedroom colonial. My baby sister and brother shared a bedroom until Kathy turned two. Then, Mom moved her into my room to sleep on the bottom half of my trundle bed. What joy! We cuddled together on my half of our bed, often falling asleep together. I mothered my precious sister until circumstances separated us when she was eight.

*******

         Yesterday, I picked up the phone to call her, and then realized she wouldn’t be able to answer. For over a week, I had been feeling depressed, not really knowing why. As I hung up, a wave of grief and tears overtook me and my heart shattered into pieces once again.

     I had forgotten, as I often do, that Kathy passed away last November, 2014, after a long and extremely painful battle with Stage 4 lung cancer.

         Every time it hits me, my mind numbs. Even though I believe with all my heart that she’s alive and safe in the hands of God, I miss her terribly.

         The place some of us call Heaven seems millions of miles and lifetimes away. I know her reunion with Mom, Daddy, my precious younger brothers, Bobby and Billy, my dear Aunt Tina, and my fun-loving cousin Frankie thrilled her.

     Although I’m not anxious to leave this earth yet, I’m antsy to be with them again, someday soon.

     Wishing you an early Happy Birthday, sweet Kathy. Bear hugs and kisses all over your face. I’ll love you forever and cherish the gift of every moment we spent with each other.

“No farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye,
you were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why.”  - Author Unknown